From what I understand, during the 16th, 17th and 18th centuries, the Chinese were much advanced in trade and warfare than the Dutch and the Portuguese that tried to (and eventually) succeeded in taking over the Asian trade. Why did the Chinese or other powerful Asian stakeholders not overpower/tame/control the weaker and brash early European traders?
Chinese were technologically inferior but did drive Dutch back using superior numbers and acquired European technology
It could be said that main Chinese ship type at the time was junk, which could used both for trade and military purposes. Dutch had ships with much better sailing characteristics, and although gunpowder was Chinese invention at that point of time European firearms technology (i.e ship's cannons) surpassed Chinese by a long shot . Dutch also had much more experience with naval warfare .
Nevertheless, Chinese did quite successfully oppose Dutch encroachment using primarily their superior numbers witch Dutch could not successfully match. Later, Chinese adopted lot of new European technology and used some of their own genuine designs to close the gap.
As for Portuguese, they actually never tried to use much force against China in that period, relying mostly on trade deals. British become factor in dealing with China only latter when they successfully defeated their European opponents back home, so they don't belong to scope of this question.